black best describes all myy feeling-nesss. :''(

to be or not to be.

to be bothered or not to be bothered by any of u,

to be ignorant or not to be,

to smile from the bottom of the heart or just a "heh-heh" ,

to feel appreciated or not to,

to bitch or not to,

doesnt pay to be kind,

not gonna be that kind nor that generous giving to those ungrateful fellows.

damn that tiny winy kind of heart that made me feel sry for you,

to think that things are gg to continue for XXXX ,

it just piss me off.
ii swear ii am gg to ...

to think of it,

it just made me see things clearer of who are true and who aint.

in other words, to stop me from being that dumb afterall.

ii cant wait to end everything with a fullstop,

til one day, the volcano erupts,

thats it.
by then, perhaps, one will know how ii once felt.

Life Path Number 6:

The Nurturer

Whether you are a man or a woman, if you are born under the Life Path Number 6 you have the gift of being the emotional centre of your family (or workplace, or town).

In order to feel happy, you must feel useful, and useful you are.

A Life Path Number 6 is the ultimate family head, not in a dominating way but more like the axle on which the wheel turns. This is the most home and family oriented of numbers.
You are probably always ready to offer a friendly ear to a colleague, a home-cooked meal to a sad friend or a soothing touch to a sick child. You have emotional support to spare and your advice (when you give it) tends to be practical, kind and effective.

Although your own moral code tends towards the conservative, you try very hard not to judge anyone else and this shines through in all of your dealings with people. You are probably loved, trusted and admired by those who know you well. The downside of this wonderful nurturing ability is that you may feel that you are always the one waiting to pick up the load that other people drop.

This is a very real danger for you, especially from the unscrupulous types who have no qualms about letting someone else do their dirty work. So ingrained is it in you to help wherever you can that you sometimes assume that everyone in the world is as trustworthy and fair as you are. If only it were so. This tendency to take on the burdens of others doesn't just apply to strangers and acquaintances: family members and other loved ones who are great people may often find themselves leaning on you just a little too heavily.

From time to time, it is in the best interests of a Life Path Number 6 to say no, even if it's just for the practise.Remember that it is sometimes just as helpful to let your loved ones take a little fall as it is to catch them.

ii think its accurate,
"you may feel that you are always the one waiting to pick up the load that other people drop. "

disppointed,
not appreciated?
duh.
fake.

went rendezvous hotel for food tasting wiith family :D

certain foods were alright but not the fish and the duck.

dont liike.

HA.

it seems like its some kind of standard menu for wedding and company's diiner.

all the dishes like abt the same one.

now ii understand why ah yi didnt wan this type of wedding banquet.

yet she goes for simple buffet.

quite tiring though.

poor xiaojiu.

gd luck to your new married life in march!!!

nd ii cant wait to go for the weddiing!!!!! ~

went see doctorr again.
damn ,
keeps coming back.

!##@$@!$#$@#!#!$% :((((

lunchhedd at sing post.

nice xiaoguo mian.
walkk ard.

wanna be a SUPERRfillial daughter this yearr,
not that ii aint fillial. but key word: SUPERRR

so gonna buy mama cny clothings for her once ii get my pay,

super broke now also.

finally got some stuffs on hand settled.
fewer burderns,

andd yupps.

projects,

mio-tv,

food,

aree my LOYAL-companions.

II realised,

as one grows older,

family seems to be moremoremoree important,

maybe not to all,

but to me, YES.

friends will change,

but no matter how family change, they will still love me

and treat me like their one and onlyy precious.

GLT's time= work, projects, family,the kids, b, gfs, best gf.

PS: Sequence does not affect the importance level.

while waiting for ah yi and giirl giirl. . . .

nddd, went ponggol plaza wiith ah yi and girl girl for lunch at suki sushi.
yummy yummy. tempura with curry rice is yummy. :DDD

andd ah yii wanna cut hair,
so took photos wiith girl girl. !!!

her wiidest SMILE =DDDD

Look alike?
hahha. she loves me,
andd ii love her too !

andd cheeeeze. !

afterr discussion wiith ah yi,
a business plan was etched iin my mind!

damn excitedd about it!
though now it seems far,
but ii am superr excitedd about my own business!

went home,

sharedd wiith papa nd mama!

they also very supportive!

yesh, ii can do it!

ii am gonna make everything come real before ii HITT 30!

so from now,

ii will do my plann andd so calledd "researchh" properly!

andd acquire as much skills as possible!

yepps!!!

damn excitedd!

just thinking abt it made me damnn high la!

AHH~

at this moment,

its not fantasy nor imagination,
just wait and see.

attendedd NUS nd NIE talks.
more choices, more opportunities.
gonna try, least ii regret.

babbyyy boyy came find me for diiner duriing evening.

thinkk less than 2 hrs,

he jiu went home le.

sharedd many many things wiith b during dinnerr.

felt better.

ii hope, in future, when there are problems,
we will also be able to talk things out like how we did today.
somebodyy once told me the key to r/s is endless commuication.

its scary when couples dont talk,

aint it?

this type of thing wont happen to us right?

*fingers crossed*

andd ii know u are trying very hard.

yet the most ii can help you iis that much...

its B's 22nd bday.
andd hadd a lil surprise for him.
yuupp,
hope u enjoy urself though.

Happyy 22nd Birthdayy.

all the bestt wishes for year 2010. :D

Wwentt wiith family to papa's company diinerr.
att Raffles Town Clubb.
damn grannd.
the momennt ii stepped iin, was like "WOW."
in future, ii alsoo wann my wedding so grand so fairytalle one. :XXX

anyway.

food was alryte,
time passedd super fastt.
enjoyedd :D

II swearr this iis my first tiime being so near to a Python.
*superr afraid*
the man wantedd to put that snake around me,
of cos, ii said, "No thanks" but suggested touchiing it.
OMG, the feel was like superr leatheryy !!!

The 3 of us.

andd yes,
ii am still thankfull for myy familly.

finally its e weekend.
inner smile like finally.
felt my existence finally.

met up with lovely gfs yesterdayy at raffles.
supposedly to celebrate Jw's bday.
but in e end she cannt make it,
so had dinner and we catch upp.

last time we met was 1 month ago.
for xmas.
walkedd to esplanade there and cam whored.
nice scenery .
nice place for couples too.

bad service at chocz.
superr spoiler can.

cutest and sweetest part was gfs actuallyy got so angryy and pek chek wiith the service.
ask me to go complain, who knows there might be free complimentary to sth.

andd ii am glad that gfs played a part iin my life.

till feb,

manyy misses.

things have been rather gloomyy nowadays.
certain things could have been said.
iif only iicould.

you werent there when ii neededd you like most these few days.
shucks.
never mind,
still,

ii am learning to be independent,
since "alone" likes to follow me.

ii would prefer face to face confrontations,

rather then others.

unclear line.

swayed determination.

ii need some "medicine" to cure every feelings dat ii am experiencing.

its still me, me, me and me afterall.

FInally,
IEP poster presentation
over.
thankful!
everything were quite alryte, in fact not bad.

sometimes, ii ponder.
ii wonder why,
ii twirl round nd round to find the answer to the qns: "why?"
afterall, it matters, dont they?
still,
ii am learning to be more xxxxxxxxxxx .

dont like e fact that things get more nd more complicated with the same "apples"
but when its time to be cast aside,
it might mean another beginning.

last day of working before e-learning ends.
the fulfilment was cool.
meaningful afterall.
iin my familiar environment.

home-edd, diinerr andd preparedd!
mett e-litann at her house there wiith Jason.
haha.
kind of last minute thing.

drankk at Mel's place while waiting for K-session at Teoheng.
chiit-chattedd.
the blasting SUPERRold school musiicc.
andd the lovellyy ambience.

reachhed teoheng there too early.
so camm-whhoredd. :D
been long siince we last took a decent and nice peekk.

andd time to go in.
the systemm there was damn cool.
upgradeedd, high-tech liao, all touch-screen andd 3 microphoness..
HAHA.
superr sua-gu.
been abt 1yearr plus siince ii last went there to sing ler. -.-

anyway.
2hrs aint enough.
sleepp over at her house.

playedd games.
drank some ii think quite sweet the vodka,
well, she dont like. but e taste alryte leii.

andd knockk out at ii think 6am...
HAHAHA.
last weekend before realityy sets in.

till then . . .
PS: the timing of this blog post is wrong.
ndd too lazyy to change,.

BYE.

submittedd AYC groupp proj.!!!
ampyc "rackyy" was next.
anyway.
met b at Serangoonn andd bus to Bugis.

walkk walkk andd shopped ard.
home-sweet home.
andd helpped didi with his maths hw,
so tough.
iideedd, b maths is better =/
lalalallalalaa...

andd oversleppt,
so slept over.
workk the next dayy and off he went home. :D
SUPERR tiring.

finallyy got myy scholarhsipp done.
busyy day.
still a fun one. :D
wiith myy all-time best gf.

andd afterr datt was shopping and movie at PS.
caughtt the movie chipp-munks.
haha. cute chippmunks.
spent $$$ like water. =.='''
LALALLA.

late diiner,
AWESOME afterall.

time passedd superr quicklly!
when one is enjoyiing and having fun.

so happy,
now it seems like things are back to those days,
those days of randomness and the fact that we actually make THOSErandomness real!

Upcomiing- Activitiess!!!

Teo-hengg and mel's place.
Wild wild wet.
shopping for cny clothings.
movie.
1 day shopping @ johor.
go doll-upp hairr.
dress upp andd take niice neoprints.
go sign upp for driving.

AHH~ ii cant wait !
damn cool.

watching my little N1s became N2s.
first day being in their new classroom,
change of chinese tr.
presence of new friends.
crying and wailing at every corner of the classroom.
chaotic.
everything was sort of "OMG"
tiring day.
it was then ii hope that ii have that fairytale "magic wand" to make the little ones listen and listen.
even for a second.
ii would be thankful.
ii guess thats the "stress" of being in this line.

just finished finalizing ayc proj stuff.
cool.
gonna be over on thurs.
1 more down.
number of projs remaining can be calculated within 5 fingers.

IEP poster presentation next tues.
left pasting the stuff with double-sided and dry-runing .
and guess we r almost done .
till the report drive us crazy.

cant help but dread sch reopening next monday.
dat means all the projs are gonna come crashing down even harder.

backk home from proj meeting.
afterr diiner.

initially supposed to meet him,
but due to some reasons, den never.
den babbyy surprise me wiith a surprise viisit.

dearr lurbbe,
took such a long ride just to give mii surprise,
muacks.
really surprised and gan-dong la.
diidnt know you will...

till the end.
well,
endedd dayy 01/01/2010
wiith babyy.